Happy Birthday, June!

I'm a little early with this post, but what the heck. June turns two on Monday and she's totally ready to blow the candles, eat the cake, the works. Here's her dress rehearsal. Notice the bending of the knees in time with the song. Cameo appearance by Pepper who wishes it were HIS birthday, but he'll be happy to eat some cake at June's party. If she shares it, which is a big IF. 

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

We celebrated Chinese New Year with our new friends--June's babysitter, her husband, son and parents. It's amazing to see the changes in  June since I first dropped her off at Yuan's house in October. She would cry as soon as I turned into Yuan's street, then break into a full-blown wail when I pulled into the driveway. When I picked her up, she'd cling to me and say home, home, home. Broke my heart. Now I can barely get her coat on because she wants to stay and play with "ge-ge" (older bro' in Chinese, pronounced guh-guh). She calls Yuan "ai" - ah-eee, which means aunty -- and her parents, po-po and gong-gong (literally, old woman and old man, but apparently they're also used for grandma and grandpa). That's them in the bottom picture, and Yuan is with her mom, June and ge-ge above. June's picking up more and more Chinese--the other day, she walked into the house and said "ni hao, pepper!" I nearly died from the cuteness.

 

June's Favorite Things, Take 22

This is June's latest accessory: Her $2 stool from the thrift shop. She carries it all over the house so she can reach whatever she can get her little hands on. She loves to stand at the kitchen counter and watch me cook. She's also fond of grabbing utensils out of the sink -- we've made a few dashes to keep away the knives. 

More of her favorite things: croco (who maintains his #1 status among the small army of stuffed animals that have invaded our house), hershey kisses, the color yerow, Toma (as in Thomas the Tank Engine), Tubby (either the bathroom variety or the silly ones on TV), broccoli (most of the time), applesauce (which she says with gusto whenever she gets to eat it -- video coming soon), singing Deck the Halls, finding the moon in the sky (and getting irritated when the clouds are in the way), feeding Pepper, watering the plants, moving the laundry basket (hey, when is she going to learn how to vac?), pretending a french fry is a phone (demonstrated the other night at dinner), making pretend eggs and toast with her pots and pans, climbing in and out of her crib (when the railing is down--at least for now), unzipping her blanket sleeper for her Elvis look (that snap at the top? who are they kidding?), and all sorts of other wonderful things that I can't remember right now. 

Not her favorite thing: Getting blood drawn. We went over two weeks ago and she's still talking about it. She rolls up her sleeve and says nee-al, pointing to her vein. Then she gets this pained look on her face. The worst part? We didn't get enough blood out of her, so we have to do it again. Anyone wanna volunteer? 

Beijing 2008

June has been training for the 2008 Beijing Olympics. She can be seen here with her sparring partner Hovan, and their coach and mentor Aleni in the middle. All three had a fabulous time jumping, running and bumping into each other last month. Yes, there were small scuffles over TV programming…with Hovan being adamant…”I don’t want to watch spongebob” and quite frankly, who can blame him? We all ate cheeeeeese, and some delicious chowder soup made by Mama Patricia, and finished our meal with chocolate cake. It was great to see June's friends again and we look forward to another whiz bang session. 

Moo-Moo June

First costume, first lollipop, first encounter with a gorilla...oh yeah, June wants Halloween everyday (maybe minus the gorilla, aka Masala Papa). The big, bad gorilla is available for parties, parades and banana feedings. Please contact the zookeeper, aka Masala Mama.

An oldie but a goodie

I finally figured out how to use YouTube. Welcome to 2007, Masala mama. Here's a short video I made a few months ago when June first learned this nursery rhyme.

200 times and counting

I couldn’t wait for June to call me Mama. When we first got back from China, she called everyone Mama except me, of course. Then she dropped it and, over the summer, she started saying Daddy, much to Masala Papa’s happiness. We baited her to say Mama, showing her pictures of Masala Papa and me, pointing to me in the picture and asking my name. No way. June would just look at the picture, look at me and smile. But somewhere in August, she finally gave in and called me by name. Now she won’t stop. Masala Papa half-jokingly suggested that I count how many times she says Mama in a day. So I did. By 6 pm, she was up to 100 times—and in the last two hours before bedtime, once Masala Papa got home, she clocked at least 100 more. She says Mama so many different ways that the word now has multiple meanings. To wit:
ma-MA? ma-MA? ma-MA? ma-MA? – four Mamas in quick succession, accent on the second syllable means “Mama, do it!” with “it” being anything from sticking out my tongue to wearing sunglasses while we dance around the living room.
MaaaaaaaaaMaaaaaaa – one looooong pronunciation, said upon seeing Mama again after a prolonged absence (more than five minutes)
Mama-mama-mama-mama-mama-mama-mama – this one can actually go on forever. In August, June marked another milestone when I put her down for a nap and she started crying for me. Now she does it all the time, although Masala Papa gets his share of Daddy-pleas, too.

Mama. Come. Sit.

Yes, our little girl is starting to string words together. The other night, she came and got me out of the bathroom, then ordered, "Mama. Come. Sit." I was so floored that I had to comply and sit in her room and read "Good night, Gorilla" for the 10,000th time.

Did I tell you that I have a butler? June stands next to me while I pee, ready to close the lid and flush as soon as I get up. She's a little impatient. Most of the time, she whacks the lid against my back while I'm still sitting. She's also happy to provide toilet paper--enough to wrap a mummy. Today, she stuffed a huge wad in the toilet while I looked away for, oh, I don't know, five seconds.

Quick update to her Favorite Things list: Broccoli (still loves it, four months later!), ice cream, turtles, bubbles, Pepper's paws, crackers, climbing on the dining room table (oh yes, she is), sunglasses and cheese, which she screams every time she sees it in the fridge.

Do you have kids?

The question threw me for a loop. There I was, getting my hair washed by a sweet 20-something at the salon who was just trying to make small talk. She probably saw my wedding ring and the grey hairs that have sprouted all over my head and figured it was a safe question to ask. I laughed out loud, then explained that she was the first person to ask me that since we got June. How many times before had I been asked that question, I wondered in the car later, and said no or, the more hopeful, not yet? Too many. Now I finally could say yes and it felt…good, but weird. Not because I don’t love June or love being her mom. But after years of saying no and quickly changing the subject, it’s surreal to say yes. I think I need more practice.

June and I took this picture at a Buddhist temple in Guangzhou, China, where a monk blessed all the children. It was a beautiful ceremony.

June and Jell-O, as told by Star Trekkie Paul

Captain’s log star date 20 57 19….the being that we met in Wuhan from the Dega Bar star system appears to be adjusting well to our climate and culture here on Earth. Slowly but surely, she is learning our language and is able to communicate effectively by pointing, grunting, and making unusual facial expressions. Due to her voracious appetite, her legs have gained enough strength to combat earth’s gravitational forces and she flies across the room like a drunken monkey, all the while precariously maintaining her balance and composure. Her favorite food is Jell-O. At first, she regarded Jell-O with great suspicion. Is this food or toy? It wobbles, feels good to the touch, has a strange transparent quality and tastes amazing. I have over 60 mins.of video recording June’s Jell-O interactions. I have sent them to homeland security for further analysis. That’s all for now…..over and out.

A few of June's favorite things

June certainly has an opinion about what she likes and doesn't like. Here are a few votes:
Likes: broccoli, milk, jello, her pink bunny, the "Are you sleeping?" song, birds, our next door neighbor, Sophie, light switches and bath time. And of course, Pepper.
Dislikes: strawberries, carrots, her face wiped, when the round block won't go in the square hole, getting blood drawn by the mean ladies at Quest who are only trying to do their job.
What Masala Mama likes: nap time. Ahhh...

Lord of the Couch

We were so worried about how Pepper would react to June. He's been the only child, so to speak, for five years. We really thought he'd enter a state of depression when June arrived. We thought he'd have to go on doggie prozac. Well, he's been the best older brother ever. He licked up June on first sight and keeps a watchful eye over her at all times (probably because he's hoping for a Cheerio or other tasty morsel to fall from her hand). June is equally entranced. The other night at dinner, she pointed to him and said, "Pepa." We almost fell off our chairs.

Thoughts on China

Just some thoughts I had about China. As a whole, the country and its people made a big impression on us both. Their ability to blend traditions alongside modern development was always evident. For example, their ancient practice of Feng-shui plays heavily in their daily lives and all new buildings, both commercial and residential are built with Feng-shui in mind. And I used to think that Feng-shui was only for Californians! Speaking of new buildings, we were surprised to see major construction projects at every town and even in the rural countryside. Our guide told us that this growth began in 1978, after the death of Mao, and continues to this day. China has rocketed their economy for close to 30 years and it shows.
During our visit, we found the people to be very friendly. They have a great affection toward their children. Remember, abandoning a child in China is a serious criminal offence that carries a heavy prison sentence. We had heard of instances where elderly Chinese would openly criticize parents for not clothing their babies enough. Children with bare feet are frowned upon. I asked our guide if this type of criticism was reserved just for adoptive parents such as us, but he assured us that it was not.
My impression of China before we arrived was that it would be oppressive. People would be resentful, or just weary of ferengi (which means foreigner in my mother language Punjabi!-Star Trek borrowed some good stuff from my Sikh heritage, remember the villan Khan was a Sikh). Enough digression, but I think Jennifer and I were both surprised by their candor, pride, and genuine good will of the people before and after we met June. I would definitely recommend China as great place to visit. Our direct flight from Newark NJ to China was shorter than going to India. So even though China seems far away, it’s very accessible. Flight time was 13hrs. there and 12.5 hrs. back to the US. And the coolest thing is you fly over the North Pole right into the giant red heart of China.

We are back

Actually, we've been back for nearly a week. Boy, how time flies when you're entertaining a toddler. Sorry we went MIA during our last days in China. Getting on the 'net cost mucho $$ at our hotel, and honestly, we needed to unplug. Getting through the Beijing airport in time to make our flight last Thursday was the final endurance test of the trip. If we can get a toddler, five carry-ons, a stroller and assorted jackets and sippy cups through several rounds of security, we can conquer anything! Enough babbling. I know all you care about are photos. Here are some of the best from our final days in China. It was a trip we'll never forget.

June's friends

I thought you'd like to see the other girls in our group. All told, there are eight little ones. I'll post the rest of the crew later.

13-month-old Mikhayla

18-month-old Jennifer

21-month-old Devon


















14-month-old Abbie

Dr. Steve with Devon. Steve has "delivered" more than 200 children from China. His nickname at our adoption agency is "ye-ye" (pronounced yay-yay), which means grandpa.

Our trip to the orphanage

It took 2.5 hours to get to the orphanage yesterday, on a highway that ran through rice paddies and fields where farmers used water buffalo instead of tractors to plow. The city of Wuxue has about 100,000 people, with 300,000 living in the surrounding area. That's actually really small, compared to where we've been -- Beijing (14 million) and Wuhan, which has about 9 million. The Wuxue Social Welfare Institute provides social services for orphans, the elderly, the disabled and homeless. When we got there, we met with the SWI's director and the caregivers, who made us homemade dumplings (i'll never be able to eat a frozen one again) and gave us a tour of the facility. About two dozen seniors, mostly men, live at the SWI. No orphans live at the SWI; as soon as they arrive, they're assigned to a foster family.

About 70% of the SWI's orphans are eventually adopted by overseas families; they showed us a bulletin board of photos of many of the girls with their families. That's quite a difference compared to China overall; according to our guide, about 60% of orphans in China are adopted domestically and that figure is growing. In 2002, the province of Hubei recorded 900 international adoptions. This year, it's expecting to do just 400, in part because fewer babies are being abandoned and also because more babies are being adopted by families here. Which is all very positive news and helps explain why our wait for June took so darn long. Currently, the Wuxue SWI has 32 orphans in foster care. Their foster parents are required to bring them to the orphanage once a month for a medical checkup, photographs and to meet the other children.

We toured the facility, which was very clean and cheerful, and saw the playrooms where June and the other girls got together every month. We found the toy car and the chair that she posed with in her referral pictures. It was so emotional, to picture her in the room, playing with the toys, having fun with the other kids, being loved and cared for so much by her foster parents and the orphanage staff. One of the little girls in our group, 14-month-old Abbie, jumped on her favorite red rocking horse as soon as she got in the playroom. God only knows what was running through June's mind. She didn't cry or fuss or give any indication of being scared.

Walking around the place, all I could think about was the trauma she and the other girls have been through the past few days -- new people, new language, new smells, new everything. How terribly frightening to lose everything that is familiar to you. The social worker traveling with our group told us something in Beijing that I've thought about alot the past few days. We've been waiting forever to meet our daughters. But they haven't been waiting for us. It's so true. They were leading perfectly happy lives with their favorite red rocking horses and foster parents who loved them. And yet, they've adapted to their new families and surroundings so well. June clings to me as if I've known her for years, not four days.

Just when I thought the trip couldn't get any tougher, we piled back onto the bus to visit the "finding locations" where our daughters were abandoned. Four of the 8 families in our group made the trip to Wuxue so we visited four sites. It was like the orphanage caregiver had a GPS system, that's how precise she was with the locations. She brought one family to a sidewalk across the street from a hotel, to a specific spot between two trees. June was found at one of the entrance gates to a big pharmaceutical company on the outskirts of town. The entrance area was quite large, but the caregiver led us to a specific spot near a potted fern. A security guard tried to shoo us away and stop us from taking pictures, but thankfully our guides intervened. June was fast asleep in my arms the entire time, but I hope she'll have a chance to visit that spot again someday. What happened there on March 3, 2006, changed all of our lives forever.

P.S. These pix aren't at the orphanage. We just thought you'd like to see the way June falls asleep every night.

Dump Truck

Those of you that know me understand my natural ability for giving special names to people, actions and things. For example, our dog answers to about 20 different names because I get bored of old ones and create even more bizzare new names. June will be no different. Her new nick name is Dump Truck, because everything you put down her sweet little gullet is consumed much like light in a black hole. It's fun and cute until, of course, we have to change the diaper. This morining we were charged with this task and it contained a token of her esteem, non other than a Super Dukie. The radiation level on my Super Dukie Detector jumped to the extreme range so quickly that the needle broke clear off! We put on the gas masks kindly provided by the hotel and informed the front desk so that everyone could be safely evacuated while we did the proceedure. Our dump truck loves steamed eggs, a particularly potent weapon developed by the Communists during the Cold Egg wars. The patient was not so co-operative or happy with the situation. Baby wipes had met their match and we had to give June her first bath. All in all a fun filled day 3. I'm putting June on an Oprah diet as soon as we get home, no more eggs, just potato chips and tv!!!!!!
p.s. those two teeth in her picture work really well.

Doesn't she look like a June?

You're probably wondering why we named our little girl June. Let's set the record straight. First of all, she's not named after anyone in our families. My sister thinks she was named after a character named June in Amy Tan's book, The Joy Luck Club. You can read a review of the book here. It's a very good theory--both of us loved the movie and Paul remembers the character June well. (I, on the other hand, have terrible movie recall.) And boy, it sure fits our situation. Problem is, it's not why we named her June. Last spring, when our wait dragged on and everyone kept asking us when we expected to hear from China, our flat answer was, "May June." At some point, I jokingly said to Paul that we should name her "May June." (In my head, I was spelling it Mae June.) To which he replied, "Or maybe June May." Well, June stuck. We did consider other names, but none felt right. So that's the story of June's name. But we do like The Joy Luck Club connection, so maybe we'll add that to the story too (thanks, Monica!).

Tomorrow is another big day: Our guides pulled some strings and we're going to June's orphanage in Wuxue, a 2.5 hour drive from here. We'll also have a chance to visit the location in Wuxue where June was found. This was not part of our "official" itinerary -- on paper, the orphanage declined the adoption agency's request to visit -- so we are all extremely grateful to our in-country guides for going to bat for us. It's going to be a very emotional day.

All smiles

Today we officially became June's parents. One of the officials who oversees international adoptions for Hubei province came to the hotel and interviewed each family in turn about why we wanted to adopt, how we would provide for the children, etc. They made a footprint of June's foot for the documents and we had to "sign" them with our fingerprints. The process basically took all morning, but we also got a chance to meet June's orphanage director again and ask a few more questions. Through our translator, we learned that June's foster parents were quite young, about 31 or 32, a married couple with an 8-year-old daughter. That explains June's nickname "mei-mei" (pronounced may-may), which means younger sister. She was likely called that by her foster sister. Many of the girls adopted by our families know each other because they were brought once or twice a month to the Wuxue social welfare institute for a check-up and playtime.
The orphanage truly loves these kids. Yesterday, we got a photo album of pictures of June taken since she was 1 month old. Each family got one and some of our kids are in each other's albums because they were playmates. It's really a priceless gift for June. We've been so blessed to have such wonderful people care and nurture her while we made our long journey to her.

And now a word from Masala Papa

Well, we picked her up yesterday around 3pm. All the prospective parents were shuffled into a conference room at the hotel. After some additional paperwork-which never seems to end-the little girls began filing in. Emotions from both parents and babies came pouring out. Our little June checked us out and promptly fell asleep in our arms! After about 30 mins. one person from each couple was asked to stay behind and finalize more forms, while the other went back upstairs to the hotel room with the baby. Since Jennifer was more familiar with the paperwork, I took June up to our room. Just as I laid her down she awoke. She gave me the stare down and was checking me out. I've never seen a baby’s tonsils in such detail. Needless to say June began crying…and I mean screaming. I could see that see had four front healthy teeth, two above and two below and her lungs had great capacity…but how to stop the crying. Well, the next 25 mins were probably the longest in my life. I tried to feed her crackers, milk, water…nothing…I even tried to bribe her but no go. Every minute I kept hoping that mama bear would get back to the room asap! When Jennifer finally got back she was able to calm the storm. That night, during our communal evening dinner, I was heartened to hear how other fathers had the exact same experience. And the moral of this story is that it can pay to do the boring paperwork.